4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
This baby is an asshole
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
