why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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