is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
