Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
