Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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