This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
