Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
