i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
