I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
