Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
