dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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