I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Randomize
