I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
