Need sex. Gaining weight.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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