You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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