the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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