you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
