You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
