dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Your tits are I can't wait for
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
