its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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