god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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