is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
