But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
the day after is always just damage control
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
50% drunk capacity currently
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize