And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
