Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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