dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
