She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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