I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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