I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
