At least make sure they are 18
Why
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
