Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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