Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
