how can u be prego again
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize