Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
My pussy is not your playground.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
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