I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Randomize
