Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
