I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Randomize
