All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
