How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
