You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize