just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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