She said her name was "party"
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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