you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
