He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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