Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
