I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize