I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
