I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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