No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
