The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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