She just used a chaser for red wine.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
