I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
