just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
