he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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