You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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