doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
