so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
