just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
