I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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