i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
