haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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