The maid of honor just puked.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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