If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
