i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
