what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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