She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Everything about him screamed your future.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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